As the year 2017 draws to a close, various people will begin to reflect on their individual progress and personal growth. Looking back and evaluating experiences that worked, and those that require more of our attention, is good practice.  By a process of elimination, we come to understand how to appreciate and honour the pursuit of happiness, and gently, we learn to live comfortably with our choices. More and more people are choosing to live modestly. With less clutter we invite a lack of pretension, we cultivate happiness and enjoy a refined sense of relaxation and simplicity.

Throughout our busy lives, we have a tendency to juggle many things. All too frequently, we part with time and energy, and cheerfully offer support and encouragement to family and the friends and people we share our lives with. Strangely, we then find ourselves wondering if there will ever be time to catch up, to discover time for ourselves, time to sit still, to appreciate and delight in small pleasures and the things we love and value.

Finding myself in the clutches of sickness, I began to contemplate some of the beliefs or values I embrace to mastermind my life. Values are routinely chosen because they help us to create the future we want to experience. Ideals persistently dominate and dictate as they help us to grow and develop. We uphold our beliefs and our convictions by integrating them into our lives through actions, typically to make decisions and to focus on what is important to us.  Family perspectives are often inherited and passed down through societal models and customs. Many people simply accept their theories as a given, without question or appraisal. At no time checking to see if their choices are beneficial, they neglect to examine their worth and significance, settling instead for the status quo and accepting the notion of “well we always do things that way”.

Times change and so should we. How would you respond to questions relating to this year such as “where did your time go?“  Was there a portion of your life that became less significant or less meaningful? Did any of your dreams or hopes became a reality? Who became a part of your vitality and strength? Were you able to take time to evaluate your principles, your standards and values? More essentially, what part of your life became truly valuable? Where did you find happiness?

Does what you stand for today seem as important or meaningful as it was yesterday? And will these principles or values still apply in the year 2018 and beyond? Could it be time to stop, stand still and question what governs your happiness and oversees your motivation?

Simplifying your life will reward you in many ways. Healthy solutions to problems can be achieved if you are willing to eat little and well, read inspirational books, harness your talents, improve your knowledge through education, choose trustworthy and faithful friends, spend less, practise discipline with enjoyable exercise, honour your dreams and trust yourself to find happiness. Practise accepting the genuine person you are and be grateful for your natural gifts and talents. (Loreau, D. 2016)

Happiness grows when we feel at peace, content with who we are, unequivocally at ease with our identity and uniqueness. Have you helped to inspire another’s person’s vision? What, if anything, could you amend? Perhaps a change in viewpoints? A personal philosophy? Or could the coming year be an opportunity to transform your way of life?

Some basic ideas for happiness are suggested here from the work of Dominique Loreau (2016)

  • Be physically active, oxygenate the body and swim
  • Make time for pampering treatments and pleasurable moments
  • Eat simply prepared dishes, fresh vegetables, fish, and seasonal fruits
  • Don’t try to change other people
  • Think less about what others think of you
  • Work to become your own best friend
  • Be ready to change
  • Learn to live with imperfections
  • Know how to decide
  • Ask yourself the right questions
  • Work on your affirmations
  • Create your own fitness regime
  • Enrich your life with rituals
  • Make the most of time
  • Simplify your wardrobe
  • Assert your presence
  • Make your home a stress free retreat

Suggestions such as these are valuable and within the range of possibility for every one of us. Focusing on one or more of these concepts will encourage happiness and open the door for exciting new things to come.

This Xmas rejoice in experiences that bring you satisfaction, personal enrichment and contentment. Discard negative thoughts and concentrate instead on feelings of appreciation and gratitude for all those special people, places and involvements that have brought you joy throughout the year. Life rushes by so quickly, choose your friends, your music, your reading and relaxation with great care. Keep treasured memories of special times close by, so you can transport yourself to a happier time when feeling sad. Spend time with people who make you laugh, those whose very company enables you to gain a sense of playfulness and delight. Happiness can be found in many ways: with each moment of happiness we feel complete, more authentic and alive. Give yourself an exceptional gift this Xmas, permit yourself to get to know your peaceful heart.

Happy Xmas everyone, thanks for all your support and comments throughout the year, I think you are amazing!

Yours in therapy,

Jill Bayly.

References.

Loreau, D. (2016) L’art de la Simplicite. Orion Books; Great Britain.