Most people will agree that there are no shortcuts on the road to success. Becoming the person we are meant to be is an enduring process. It takes time, effort and skill. It demands an ability to reflect, to stand up and be counted, and to accept complete responsibility for our shortcomings. The well-known saying, ‘old habits die hard’, resonates with an impact of what we know to be true. Exchanging our behaviours and traditions for ones more suited to a life of fulfilment and substance is arduous. We must call upon courage, emotional strength and a genuine desire to strip back the layers and legacies of dysfunctional ideas and patterns, often held securely in place by the unchallenged intergenerational inheritance of family traits.

The gap remains between what’s deeply important to people and the way they spend their time. “We’re getting more things done, in less time,” people are saying, “but where are the rich relationships, the inner peace, the balance and the confidence that we’re doing what matters most and doing it well?” Covey, S.R. (1994).

A really important step to assist moving forward is to craft our intentions. This process requires more than simply using positive affirmations or creating a personal vision board. Nonetheless, when adopted strategically, employing these significant skills will most certainly help. Setting a strong intention requires us to go to the space in our heart where possibility, inspiration and hope reside, where actual dreams and imaginings sit patiently, waiting for us to call upon our inner wisdom to guide us back to the place we call home, our true and authentic self.

While we strive for perfection and recognition in a highly competitive world, our wise mind, or healthy sixth sense, is often neglected and left on the shelf. Setting an intention to live in alignment with our true self requires us to tune into our bodies and begin to listen to our emotions. Unhappiness always reveals itself when we walk away from our truth, when we give in to another’s account of how they believe life should be for us, or when we accept and live another person’s unfulfilled dream. We find ourselves unsatisfied, frustrated, restless and angry, predominantly for not standing up for our true potential, or sharing with honesty what is fundamental to our own happiness. If we give in to apathy and indifference and believe we are victims, it becomes hard to question and challenge dysfunctional and deeply held core beliefs. Most importantly, this disconnection makes it appear impossible to transform and heal our wounded sense of self.

Messages are always available for us when we are open to sincere listening. It is essential to observe and identify the feeling that comes with an emotional message. Make a plan to summon up all possibilities and options available. Is this commanding emotion something you would choose? What would you prefer to feel? What other prospect could you select? Allow your heart to point out a preference and write it down.   A weekly intention with follow up dates works well. Write the words ‘My intention is …“and continue the sentence.  For example, “My intention today is to spend more time with my partner.“  “My intention this week is to research jobs with less demand and stressors.” “My monthly intention is permission to put myself first.”  Make your statement as simple as possible. A short, one sentence intention becomes very powerful.

There are periods when we feel lost and unsure of our direction.  At this point, professional interventions may be extremely useful.  An experienced and ethical life coach will not request that you keep returning again and again for appointments, but rather will assist you to find your safe place, help you to discover what is most important and teach you the skills to navigate challenges and disruptions that impact on your aspiration to achieve your goals. Professional life coaching empowers people to find their own solutions through exploring, then amplifying, personal strengths and abilities.

As a professional couch and therapist, I trust and rely on the following key principles, as advocated by Hook, McPhail & Vass. (2006)

  1. The belief that moving towards a solution is far more useful than moving away from a problem.
  2. People are experts in their own world.
  3. People have preferred futures.
  4. People have a wealth of strengths and resources.
  5. All problem patterns have exceptions, (when it is better, more manageable, etc.)
  6. Small changes in the right direction often lead to bigger changes.
  7. Find what works and do more of it.
  8. If it isn’t working, stop doing it and do something different.
  9. Focus on moments of success, however small.
  10. Expand perspectives with clear intentions.

Book an appointment today and invest in a preferred future. Connect to your purpose and uncover familiar resources that will transform your current situation, starting from where you are right now.  Create an intention to reclaim and rejoice in your peaceful heart. After all, why should you settle for anything less?

Yours in Therapy,

Jill Bayly.

References.

Canfield, J., Hansen, M.V. (2000) the Power of Focus. Random House: Australia.

Covey, S., (1994). First Things First. Simon and Shuster. New York.

Hook, P., Mc Phail., I. & Vass. A., Coaching and Reflecting. Laurel House: Hampshire. UK.