In years gone by, many people were raised in a large family where sharing was a way of life. Money was not as readily available and credit was difficult to access. Consequently, less compulsive buying habits made it possible for people to save their money prior to making an expensive purchase. Today the social demands and cost of raising children mean that we are starting to see smaller families. A one-child family is considered normal, and at times the decision has been made not to have children at all. Currently, with money and credit accessible, adults and kids grow to expect their needs to be met immediately. It is reasonable to envisage that we live in an age of instant gratification and self-centeredness. Learning to share has become unnecessary, and in many cases, not even an option.

Reflecting on this, and how this idea may have impacted on your life, how do we stop, consider others and learn to share? How do we embrace graciousness and employ daily acts of kindness and generosity, particularly when our social norms direct us to place more and more emphasis on the self? All around us, we can hear these words, “This is my parking spot”.  “Don’t use my desk.” ” I can’t, I already have too much to do.” “That is not my problem”. People rarely think to buy each other a cup of coffee anymore; this is noticeable and rather sad. The adroitness of sharing becomes extinct as we employ self-centred and highly egotistic habits.

Nonetheless, when a national crisis occurs, people rally and our generous spirit can be seen and felt by all. Sharing becomes a core part of our being. So, what happens to make us forget so readily? Is it because we feel cheated, unappreciated, or simply resentful of others? When resentment enters the picture, the payback may be next on the agenda. We can justify our unkindness with feelings and thoughts of, “Why should I do that? They never do anything for me.” “Well, they started this, why must I always be the first to change?” Resentment seeks reimbursement and subsequently, our extreme reactions become stuck in deadlock and we feel displeasure. If you want to safeguard the status quo, just wait for the other person to change first.

On the other hand, learning to share permits us to become more tolerant, more accepting and more compassionate towards the human frailties of other people. The ability to achieve and maintain peace of mind is perhaps the best single measure of how well we are doing as a person (Tracy, B. 1993).  Life works better when we are committed to waves of learning. What creative habits do you share with others? There is no better place to practise this than where we are, right now at the moment.

Can you commit to the ongoing practice of sharing? When we are at our best, we offer support and care to others because we appreciate that they are just like us, vulnerable and fragile. We tune into their hurt and sadness as if it were our own. When we behave more lovingly, we make it easier for people to be loving and kind to us. Love comes alive through sharing our skills, optimisms and actions. We then view this as a chance to enrich the lives of others. Reliable and current research provides insight into the value of sharing.

Keep in mind, that whatever we withdraw from, or whatever we go toward and embrace, becomes the Universe we create. If sharing does not live in our relationships, it does not live at all, (Hendricks, K.& G., 1999)

I invite you to share in the wisdom and words of Stephanie Dowrick. The Universal Heart. (2000) “We move our attention from those we love for years at a time. And we wonder why the relationships we intended to value and honour break down or disappear.”

Ideas to try:

  • Nurture sharing through actions that others can observe and appreciate.
  • Be loving and kind whether someone deserves it or not.
  • Let go of resentment. It fosters self-absorption.
  • Deepen self-awareness. Make changes where needed.
  • Value the peace of mind that sharing with others brings.
  • Recognise your circle of influence.
  • Generously share your skills, talents and creativeness with strangers.

Are you a person who shares joyfully? Or does your ability to share require a little improvement?  Perhaps you know. But to be sure, why not check-in and ask your peaceful heart.

Yours in Therapy,

Jill Bayly.

References.

Dowrick, S., (2000). The Universal Heart. Penguin Books; Australia.

Hendricks, K &G., (1997) The Conscious Heart. Bantam Book: USA.

Tracy, B., (1993) Maximum Achievement. Simon and Schuster: New York.

Photo provided with permission from Pixabay.