Encouraging Connections at Xmas – Xmas is almost here and already we are surrounded by images of consumerism. Marketing companies spend millions on creative images for the retail sales market, in order to convey the message that Xmas time is shared by happy, functional families. Sales are generated through the inference that Xmas is a season for giving and partaking in festivities with those we love. While this image may be true in some homes, it is important to consider the people whose home and lifestyle does not reflect this portrayal of joyful sharing, much less a loving connectedness.

COVID 19 has placed financial pressure on many people, frequently causing much distress.  Moving through this time for some folk necessitated a real degree of discomfort and hardship.  With the freedom of credit cards, money lending and encouraged borrowing, we acknowledge and observe many of our friends and families feeling pressured to buy an assortment of gifts. Truth is many of these may possibly end up in the local second-hand store sometime in the near future. Although it is essential to recognise the time, energy and thought our friends and families have taken to choose and lovingly wrap the special gifts under the Xmas tree, what if we committed to something different this year?

What if we were to forgo our typical gifts and simply create a list of all the people who have made a contribution to our lives over the past year? What if we compiled a hand written note to each of these special people, acknowledging what their presence in our life has meant to us? What if we were to witness, first hand, the power of humility, simplicity, graciousness and the rich reward of authentic human kindness instead.

Imagine how good it would be to go out of our way and speak personally to the countless people we see in our daily travels, who are ‘just doing their job’? Doing their job so well, it makes our life less stressful, less challenging and more comfortable. What would it mean to people to do this? Long after Xmas has been and gone, these thoughtful gifts, these words of encouragement, will be the ones people remember most, especially when times are tough. We do so little of this. Is it because we receive so little in terms of positive feedback from other people?

Do you remember which gifts have been most significant in your own life? Can you instantly recall all the tangible gifts presented to you over the years? Or have the words of someone you respect lingered in your heart, available on playback anytime, anywhere. As gifts, have these words become more meaningful? The gifts of encouragement, gratitude, respect and trust are surely some of the greatest gifts we will ever receive.

So instead of purchasing lavish gifts this year for the significant people in your life, would you consider sharing some words of encouragement and gratitude? Would you be willing to give some of your time to those less fortunate? Would you consider taking time out to tell your friends and family what they mean to you, and exactly what impact this had on your life?

In the spirit of Xmas, give generously of yourself to someone worthy. Bravely say the things that need to be said to the people who are patiently waiting to hear. Find the courage to share feelings that have not been shared and thank those who have never been thanked. Everyone deserves to experience the power of your gratitude. Manifest the courage to allow the people you care about to step a little closer and appreciate the person you really are. Someone who truly cares about things that matter.

Stay safe this Xmas and thankyou to everyone for your wonderful support during this past year. Together we have done a great job, so let’s keep growing as individuals and create a healthier, happier self.

Be mindful over the holidays.

‘Helping to find your peaceful heart.’  Yours in Therapy,

 Jill Bayly.