Fear can be a trickster; we witness its immense power today, when our days are filled with so much uncertainty. We watch as fear weaves its way through the lives of people who become seduced with the media’s constant messages of deep concern. We sense its presence when comparing ourselves to others, thinking we are not good enough, capable enough, or likeable enough. We witness its many games as we make unrealistic assumptions about people and situations, and how they may feel about us. We consent to buy into these games whenever we stop questioning the facts.

No one is immune to the grip of fear. Yet fear is simply a messenger, a warning. Consequently, ignoring its presence completely may turn out to be an unwise mistake. Many people who have experienced serious trauma have come to view fear as their friend, a prudent helper, or a useful protector. Therefore, we must learn to separate the mischievous fear and its games, from the more realistic and important warnings that fear has to offer.

Anxiety also, can be a close friend of fear. Educating ourselves in how to manage our anxiety in positive ways can provide real benefits when fear comes rushing in. Anxiety itself may trick us into believing that we cannot cope with the countless challenges we face. Anxiety becomes more convincing as our negative thoughts expand. Anxiety and fear can distort our reality, scramble our thinking and impose limits on our memory. Many wise, astute people permit fear to take over and run the show.

Observing the clever games of fear, we notice how easy it is to lose a balanced perspective. We may forget there are two sides to a story. We jump in, make conclusions and fail to thoroughly research the evidence.  We become trapped in fear’s game, losing sight of all possibilities and quickly distance ourselves from our rational mind and its strengths. Thus, giving in to a narrow, inadequate version of who we are, we decide that the perspective held is the only way to view our problematic situation. Subsequently, fear based, anxiety generated thinking is normally unproductive.

At times sitting with our fear, listening to its message and calming our anxiety can be useful. Experimenting with evidence-based strategies is both helpful and enormously important.  Below I share some ideas that may be worth consideration.

  • Keep a clear perspective. Sure, bad things do happen but we survive, and we shall do so again.
  • Research the overall facts. Don’t make assumptions.
  • Remember in order to keep anxiety at bay, that there are certain things we do need to avoid.
  • Do not overdose on media presentations. Watch the daily news once, not ten times.
  • Speak to people who have a grounded, balanced outlook on life. Seek out their guidance when your fear is on high alert.
  • Listen to your wise mind. The creative internal intuition that will never let you down.
  • Practise behaviours that calm and support your anxiety.
  • Although we cannot avoid fear, we can choose to face it with wisdom and courage.
  • Remind ourselves that fear is simply “doing its thing,” This alone may help to loosen the grip of unproductive thought patterns.
  • Being heedful of our fear’s message, will always help us to make wiser decisions.

A life worth living is the work of a lifetime and must be valued as such. When fear hits, anxiety will not be far behind. However, if we can become more aware, stop, and simply observe its presence and reflect level-headedly on the message, we will gain a healthy grip on perspective. Listen to your peaceful heart.  It will always be there, indisputably providing you with the guidance of insight, understanding and vision.

Yours in Therapy,

Jill Bayly

References.

Greenspan, M., (2003) Healing through the Dark Emotions: The Wisdom of Grief, Fear and Despair. Shambhala Publisher. Boston. USA.