Stress is an everyday fact of life. How we find ourselves responding to stress determines what impact it will have on your life and your future. Davis, Eshelman & McKay, (2008) suggest that some stress is good for us and other types of stress can be particularly harmful.
When stress becomes observable to us and people around us, we often try to manage this with less successful strategies such as working harder, numbing pain with food, alcohol or drugs, by procrastinating or venting frustrations on people. While believing we do a reasonable job of taking care of ourselves, we often revert to our well known and familiar coping habits when faced with a crisis.
These coping habits may be:
- Working long days with no regular breaks or exercise.
- Telling ourselves that ‘being busy’ is a great way of coping and managing pain.
- Holding the belief that ‘soldering on’ shows strength and conviction.
- Physically or emotionally distancing from the most important and caring people in our lives.
- Having our mobile phone on all the time.
- Controlling every decision, even the small stuff.
Do any of these approaches sound familiar? Employing these survival skills can become a comfortable territory. Comfortable because we avoid talking or thinking about ourselves and our real needs. While initially successful, this approach is potentially detrimental in the long term. Convincing ourselves that we are managing our stress levels by adopting these techniques is really a veiled version of dishonesty. Who are we making more comfortable with this dishonesty?
Getting real with ourselves is the first step to moving forward and beating the stress patterns that block our pathway to success. Some of our needs may require more attention in terms of:
- Sleep – understanding the importance of peaceful sleep
- Emotional support – reaching out for help.
- Time to yourself – learning to say no.
- Physical energy – exploring a new health regime.
- Companionship – finding new friends or opening up to others.
- Change – getting used to a new environment.
- Peace –abandon the constant worry thoughts.
- Hope –begin to have faith in the idea that things will get better.
- Touch –consider the value of a close, loving relationship.
- Share – set time aside to spend with your friends.
When we are not present or grounded, we are not really available in other important relationships. Self- care does take time and energy. Yet it is time well spent with clear and instant rewards most obvious to you and to other people. Therapy will help you to get started into a new regime and set up a plan to help move towards your goals. In the meantime, you can begin with the activities on the list below. Choose one thing you might focus on each day. See if you can manage to complete this list in its entirety.
Select an affirmation to assert throughout the day.
- ‘I suspend all judgement – look for the best in everyone and praise it.’
- ‘I slow down – take my time talking, walking and driving.’
- ‘I say no – without feeling guilty.’
- ‘I am grateful – for all the people in my life who think the world of me.’
- ‘I replace – all negative thoughts with encouraging and empowering ones.’
- ‘I let go of all toxic relationships’.
- ‘I listen to the messages from my body’.
- ‘I commit to having less stress in my life’.
- ‘I resolve – all of my unfinished business.’
Adopting stress-free techniques helps to remove fear and doubt. Are you willing to expand your intentions and enjoy the sense of freedom that comes from relishing a peaceful heart?
References.
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