When I let go of who I am, I become who I might be.” – Lao Tzu

Do you ever feel as if something prevents you from being your best self? Is it possible to overcome the problem of seeing our “self” negatively, frequently resulting in low self-esteem? Is there a way to be in a state of awareness where our confidence and self-esteem is evident, irrefutable, and permanent?

Creating a strong sense of self from within, means that we have a more stable self-concept – one that can endure setbacks and discontentment while simultaneously learning from it. The underpinning foundation of our character will always reveal our most intimate and deeply held life core viewpoints. Consequently, a strong belief in the ability of the self is ultimately the key to happiness.

Many of us struggle with the idea that we are not good enough. For some, the feeling is temporary, but for others, that feeling becomes a belief and has an emotional impact on all aspects of life. Poor self-belief can influence our lives in a vast number of ways. Emotional issues, unhealthy thought patterns, destructive behaviour and lack of self-assurance all hold a person back from reaching their full potential.

Evidence-based research illustrates rates how the mind, body and spirit are inter-connected. Ways to enhance your connection include the regular practice of Yoga, Thai Chi, Dance, Music, Art, Sport, Walking, Swimming, etc. People who participate in these activities show significant indicators of greater resilience and emotional wellbeing. Meditation teacher and philosopher Davidji shares some insightful thoughts.

A lot of self-acceptance really comes down to awareness. The more aware we are – of ourselves, of our words, of our actions, of their impact, of other’s emotions, of our surroundings – the more conscious we are. When we are more conscious, we are more aligned with the universe… allowing us to flow love more easily, experience deeper meaning in the moment, and live lives of greater balance and happiness. Real compassion starts with self-compassion, which leads to self-acceptance.” (Davidji, 2016)

Practising kindness is another way to reveal our true self to the world. In the words of Lao Tzu, “Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” If we pay attention to our courage and apply bravery to our connections, we find it easy to demonstrate love to those we care about.

If we are willing to face our fear of ‘showing up’ with others and allow ourselves to be seen for who really we are;  if we accept both accountability and responsibility for our less than honourable behaviour;  if we learn to take a clear position on things that matter to us;  if we have an open heart, and bring more of our authentic self into every relationship;  if we honour our commitments and speak with the intention of being our best selves, it is at that point that we will have moved in the direction of enhanced awareness and defined a more authentic and honourable self. (Lerner, H. 2004)

Harrison, H. (2014) shares the following traits of people with healthy self-belief and self-esteem.

Which of the follow statements brings to mind a personal self-belief?

  • Feel worthy to be loved and to love others.
  • Are productive and able to achieve success to the best of their ability.
  • Recognise their potential for success.
  • Have aspirations, dreams and hopes for the future.
  • Are goal oriented with a sense of balance.
  • Are capable of being creative, taking risks and being optimistic about life.
  • Have leadership qualities and are skilful with people.
  • Have a healthy self-concept and perceive themselves in alignment with the image they project to others.
  • Are able to accept responsibility for and, consequences of their actions.
  • Have a legitimate concern for the welfare of others.
  • Have healthy coping skills.
  • Look to the future with excitement, a sense of adventure and optimism.

If your self-belief could use a little help, speak to a therapist, charge up your courage and delight in the harmony of living with your peaceful heart.

 

References:

Davidji. http://davidji.com/

Harrison, H., (2014), Full Esteem Ahead. www.powerofchange.com.au

Lerner H., (2014) Fear and Other Uninvited Guests.  Harper Collins: N.Y.

Lao Tzu., as in Deepak Chopra (2016) https://chopra.com/