Every now and then,

Take a good look at something

Not made with hands:

A mountain, a star,

The curve of a stream.

There will come to you wisdom and patience,

And above all, the assurance

That you are not alone in the world. 

(Sidney Lovett)

When I was a child, the prospect of receiving a gift was possibly the most exciting thing in the world. Our family was careful in terms of spending any money that was not necessary. Like many others, we had to live within our means and gifts were luxury items of less significance. Throughout my teenage years, I held onto the joy of gifts, both receiving and giving. It did not come as a surprise when after reading the interesting book by Garry Chapman, The Five Love Languages, I discovered one of my chosen languages is “gifts”. In younger years, I understood the receiving of gifts to be a profound act of love.

Reflecting upon this today, I wonder if my beliefs were self-taught, or passed down within the legacy of familiarity. It does appear that much acquired learning is required for us to become aware and discover what truly matters. I do not wish to sound ungrateful, nor do I want to downplay the thoughtfulness behind a considerate gift. Nevertheless, time has demonstrated how powerful the effect of authentic, heartfelt words can be to brighten and lift the spirit, deepen a connection and expand a memory in our hearts to be aroused at a moment’s notice. Simply amazing!

Today, we live in and share a complicated, multifaceted world. It can be challenging to remind ourselves about the simple gifts life has to offer. Feeling truly blessed for me translates to having good friends.  Without my friends, it would have been impossible to get through some of the very difficult times of my life. Intentional listening is indeed a gift. Nurture your friendships, understand their value, be thoughtful to your friends and listen to their problems as carefully as they listen to yours. Shared experiences put a different perspective on whatever is happening in our life. Love and cherish your friends.

Some of us are close to our families, others may not be. In spite of this, as a family, nuclear or chosen, there will always be a bond, not replicated elsewhere. See the positives within the relationships and do not allow perceived differences to concern or worry you. Just love and appreciate people for who they are as individuals. Make the most of the time you spend together; people do not stay in our lives forever.

Pets also bestow unconditional love upon us. Nothing soothes the senses more quickly than the energy they bring to a home.  Animals give much more than they take. However, pets need company and dislike being alone for long periods. We must be sure we can return the gift of love they so willingly share with us and be certain we have the ability to look after them with care and kindness throughout their short lives. Our pets are worthy of this gift. Love and nurture them.

Whatever your likes and dislikes, expanding upon your knowledge is a wonderful thing. We can choose to pore over the words of great philosophers, researchers, artists, musicians, poets, and many other incredible storytellers. Within the realm of social media, the world is one giant library. What pleasure we receive when reading about, or listening to, these amazing humans, sharing their skill, insight and craft for us to choose at will. This connection encourages us to step forward into a greater awareness of the Universal gifts that surround us.

Perhaps the coming Christmas may be a time for each of us to reflect on the gifts of love that truly matter, to open our hearts to others and to appreciate the wonderment of nature. Notice every tree, flower and bird and allow everything to become a teacher. “Experiment mindfully; find out what works for you”. Kabat-Zinn. J., (2009)

Could it be time to choose your gift? The gift of love? Delight in the joy of sharing and in so doing find and discover your peaceful heart.

Yours in Therapy,

Jill Bayly.

References:

Kabat-Zinn, J., Letting Everything Become Your Teacher. Random House: New York.

Lovett, S., as in Millman, D., (1995) The Laws of Spirit. H.J. Kramer.  New World Library: California.

Page, N., (2012) The Little Book of Wellbeing. Ryland Peters and Small. LTD. New York.