My father was an intelligent, wise man. His shared thoughts and views with our family left a satisfying legacy. When recalling one of his sayings, I often smile at its accuracy. “Most of the things we worry about will never happen”. Yet worry we do and even when the evidence points to a vastly different reality, we gather momentum by stressing and fearing the things that ‘may’ occur in our future. Feelings are a natural part of who we are as people, yet we overlook their true value and forget that emotions are a form of energy.

We are all born with a range of feelings. However, we deny our feelings and run or hide when confronted by powerful, intense and visible emotions. So why do we downplay, dismiss, and secretly conceal this normal and natural part of our psyche? Is it because some time ago, perhaps in childhood, we learned that speaking up and acknowledging feelings could result in experiencing some kind of discomfort? Emotion boosts and benefits our personality as a complex human. Feelings invite us to learn, to be authentic and real.

Not so long ago, society would have been aghast at the idea of anyone discussing their feelings let alone sharing, exposing or revealing honest emotions to others. Even in today’s world, we still do almost anything to prevent sharing emotion. We dishonour our feelings and rarely speak about what is really going on within us. How many people do you hear say “Oh I could never let them know I was nervous”? Or “I can’t let him know that I care so much”, or “They wouldn’t cope knowing the truth about how I really feel”.

We worry that people might discover a little more about us and maybe getting closer to the real us. We leave it to chance and trust people’s ability to guess, then become upset if the speculation is incorrect. At times we even verbally attack people for making assumptions about us. Yet it is we who will not openly or willingly divulge our true emotional state.

When we run from our feelings we can never be our true and authentic self. We drift from our primary core to become someone we are not. Hiding from emotions impedes personal growth and deep fulfilment. Our most significant relationships suffer, our self-esteem is diminished and our self-worth is impaired. We side-track our ability to dive into the inner sanctum where deep happiness and peace lay, waiting patiently to be revealed.

Sadness is a well-known emotion that people try desperately hard to avoid. At times people avoid their own life in order to escape their sadness. We skilfully distract ourselves with over-work, over-eating, substance abuse, gambling, cheating on our partners, competing with our colleagues and being addicted to external acquisitions. We neglect to explore the origin of sadness and ultimately miss the significant lesson it is has to teach us.

How do we create healthy relationships when we cannot allow ourselves to fully experience who we truly are? How do we become someone less concerned with judgement when afraid to come out from behind the mask that conceals emotion? This practice requires courage, bravery, commitment and encouragement.

Try using this simple affirmation “My emotions support me in all that I do.”

Opening up to intense feelings can be a way to open a door in our psyche that has been tightly shut. Listening to your feelings will help to establish the action for a better future. Learning to develop your emotional intelligence and to embrace feelings may reveal fresh answers to old problems.
Talk to a therapist and recall that fragile and personal problems are simply human ones. An honest connection to your inner self paves the way towards finding your peaceful heart.