What happens within our lives that we neglect to observe and pass on small acts of kindness? How often do we do we simply take for granted, the love, support and caring nature of our friends? Nonetheless when the chips are down and we find ourselves in trouble, we turn without question towards the people closest to us. People who step in and enthusiastically make public, the essentials of life. True friends, the salt of the earth, who extend the gift of kindness without hesitation. People we rely on when we feel unsafe and insecure.

What’s more a stranger, whom we may never meet again, may also offer us compassion, kindness and support when we need it the most. Kindness while understood and assumed, may not be recognisable in our regular regime. Yet acts of kindness show up every day and are often overlooked in our busy schedule and daily activities.

The weekend revealed a quick trip to emergency hospital. The day began with a woman in the train, a complete stranger, who supported me when I was very ill. Then without hesitation, my wonderful friend drove for miles to pick me up and take me to the hospital, where she stayed until she was sure I was safe and cared for by the professionals. Other friends stepped in and one by one, took care of my needs.  How grateful I was. Envisage how different our life would be without these remarkable people. I instantly consider the plight of our refugees.

Reflecting on this, I pondered the meaning of Kindness. The Australian Kindness Movement Ltd share their philosophy.

“Kindness it is a message from one heart to another, an act of love, an unspoken “I care” statement. An act of kindness is a spontaneous gesture of goodwill towards someone or something – our fellow humans, the animal kingdom, and the kingdom of nature. Kind words and deeds come from a state of benevolence, generated by a core response deep within all of us. When we carry out an act of Transforming people’s lives through the Power of Kindness.”

The Dalai Lama is a man who encourages and promotes kindness. The following message defines something we all know and feel, yet all too often neglect to make a part of our daily custom or schedule.  His words resonate.  “When we feel love and kindness towards others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us to develop inner happiness and peace.”

As humans we appear to suffer greatly when we wander away from the core of our being, from our values and our principles.  Our true self calls upon us to be kind, to care, to look out for others. Undeniably, when a crisis (such as these recent floods) hits the community and we are faced with immense pain, loss and destruction, we see some of the very finest characteristics in our neighbours, colleagues, friends and acquaintances. People don’t hesitate to show compassion to one another. So why does it require a disaster to extract these attributes? What stops us from making kindness a core value, a non-negotiable practice in our daily life?

Everybody knows what it feels like to be the recipient of kindness, even our animal friends understand this.  We all appreciate the very real presence of kindness.

Below are a few ideas, you may have many of your own. I encourage you to reflect on who has been kind to you and remember what the gift meant to you. Reflect also on kindness you have passed onto others. Is this a regular routine? Something you believe must have its place in your lifestyle?

Sharing Time. This is such a valuable gift, taking time out just to “be with” people lifts people’s spirits when times are tough.

Share a good Laugh. Laughing can boost our immune system and release endorphins. This also helps us to feel great and live longer.

Write one thank you note each day. Thank people for the meaning they bring to your life. This can include people you do not know personally, yet those who continually contribute something valuable to your life in a significant way.

Become more aware of people around you. Begin to notice when small changes occur and check in to see if the person is OK, or may need your help.

Be an encourager. Encourage people to stay on track, to stick to their goals and visions. Encourage people to believe in themselves and to find some professional help if they need to.

Just listen. When we keep talking, believe in competing, or wanting to share overstated, similar stories, we lose connection with others. Just for a while, simply listen and you will learn things you did not know about the speaker and they in turn will feel so special.

Donate things you do not love or need. Books, clothes, furniture and anything that no longer compliments your lifestyle can go to the op shops or council library.

Be kind to yourself. It is Ok to enjoy some special treats, we do not need permission to do this.

Become aware of your body. The body is always telling us what it needs, i.e. rest, good food, a day of fasting, etc. Learn to love yourself for the amazing individual that you are. Practice kindness.

If you have forgotten how to be kind, or if you need some help to feel like your authentic self? Please book an appointment. Therapy could be just the support you need right now. It does not take much to find your way back towards your peaceful heart.

Yours in Therapy, Jill.