Xmas is almost here and we are surrounded by images of consumerism. Marketing companies spend millions on creative images for the retail sales market, in order to convey the message that Xmas time is shared by happy, functional families. Sales are generated through the inference that Xmas is a time for giving and partaking in festivities with those we love. While this image may be true in some homes, it is important to consider the people whose home and lifestyle does not reflect this portrayal of joyful sharing, much less a loving connectedness.

In this era of credit cards, money lending and encouraged borrowing, we can acknowledge that many people may be able to access the basics. These basic requirements permit us to get through life with a degree of comfort. In spite of this, we observe many of our friends and families with a stock pile of gifts. Most of which will probably end up in the local second hand store sometime in the near future. Although it is essential to recognise the time, energy and thought our friends and families have taken to choose and lovingly wrap the special gifts under the Xmas tree, I often witness first hand, the power humility, simplicity, graciousness and the rich reward of authentic human kindness. With this in mind, what if we committed to something different this year?

What if we were to forgo our typical gifts and simply create a list of all the people who have made a contribution to our lives over the past year? What if we compiled a hand written note to each of these special people, acknowledging what their presence in our life has meant to us? What if we invited people to send a donation, equating to the value of our Xmas gift, to our favourite charity instead?

What if we went out of our way to speak personally to the countless people we see in our daily travels, who are ‘just doing their job’? Doing their job so well, it makes our life less stressful, less challenging and more comfortable. What would it mean to people to do this? Long after Xmas has been and gone, these thoughtful gifts, these words of encouragement, will be the ones people remember most, especially when times are tough. We do so little of this. Is it because we receive so little in terms of positive feedback from other people?

I never cease to be intrigued by the people I speak to on a daily basis. Each person reminisces with pride, a story about something nice someone has said to them. They also express how something incredibly dishonouring was said to them. Not only do they describe where they were when the message was communicated but also the tone and manner in which the message was delivered. People share these memories in an extremely precise manner, often years after the event. We hold onto important messages, even the ones that hurt.

Do you remember which gifts have been most significant in your own life? Can you instantly recall all the tangible gifts presented to you over the years? Or have the words of someone you respect lingered in your heart, available on playback anytime, anywhere. As gifts, have these words become more meaningful? The gifts of encouragement, gratitude, respect and trust are surely some of the greatest gifts we will ever receive.

So instead of purchasing lavish gifts this year for the significant people in your life, would you consider sharing some words of encouragement and gratitude? Would you be willing to give some of your time to those less fortunate? Would you consider saying to friends and family, “Instead of giving a gift this year, would you mind sending a small donation to my favourite charity? This would mean the world to me, knowing I am helping others by way of your generosity.”

In the spirit of Xmas, give generously of yourself to someone worthy. Bravely say the things that need to be said to the people who are patiently waiting to hear. Find the courage to share feelings that have not been shared and thank those who have never been thanked. Everyone deserves to experience the power of your gratitude. Manifest the courage to allow the people you care about to step a little closer and appreciate the person you really are. Someone who truly cares about things that matter.

Stay safe this Xmas and thankyou to everyone for your wonderful support during this past year. Together we have done a great job, so let’s keep growing as individuals and create a healthier self.
‘Helping to find your peaceful heart.’
Cheers, Jill