When fear and doubt turn up in your life it can be helpful to think in a different way, gather your courage and ask fear these questions:

  • Who invited you?
  • Why are you here?
  • Do you have something to say to me?
  • Is there something I need to know?
  • Do you have something to teach me?

Asking questions such as these can be confronting, especially if left unanswered. The responses may hold information we are not yet ready to hear or accept. Fear is a strange paradox; while often a brave protector and safety shield, it can also keep us feeling stuck, insecure and reluctant to explore new opportunities.

It is worth mentioning that other emotions can cleverly conceal and mask fear. Emotions can camouflage underlying fear, as in occurring anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness, etc. When we investigate a particularly unusual behaviour such as acting out, yelling, silencing, or becoming increasingly competitive, we may also discover fear sitting just below the surface. Although unseen, fear and doubt can skilfully inflate our imaginations.

Exploring the source of fear’s presence helps us to understand if our concerns and doubts are real or imagined. Fear can easily escalate with the absence of information. Is our fear unfounded or irrational? Fears can also be interrelated, however if fear is real, we need to take heed, sit up and take immediate action. The fundamental message of real fear is normally very clear and includes a strong physical warning. Physiological indicators such as, heightened awareness, increased heart rate, shortness of breath and sudden panicking are noticeable responses to danger. These strong messages alert us, remind us to be vigilant and shout “Don’t delay!”. They warn us to rapidly seek safety, increase our protection and instigate swift action. Real fear helps us to prepare for battle.

At times we may want to share a fear experience with family or friends; yet if people reject our stories, or say we are being far too sensitive, this can become extremely perplexing. Suggestions of this nature can lead to additional suffering, even the doubting of one’s own psyche or self. We can question our courage, distrust our self-confidence and at times even query our sanity.

Several people experience lasting trauma and stress; fear has moved into their way of life and completely altered their world with considerable doubt and insecurity. This type of fear can be imaginary, extremely unhelpful and completely immobilising. Without therapeutic guidance, professional assistance or family support, the shadow of doubt can exercise its authority and rule out any chance of a brighter future. Anxiety is a good example, this feeling will show up when we feel ill-equipped to deal with a future situation. Anxiety prevents us from seeing clearly.

Fear is extremely personal and everyone has felt its presence, yet what is fearful to some can be fun to another. People sometimes pretend that fear does not exist and try to push it away. They disconnect from emotion and desensitise themselves from the possibility of any real connection. Although we cannot avoid fear, we can learn to interpret its message, gather our courage, reach out to others, respond wisely and stay connected.

Fear and doubt, like other significant emotions or unusual behaviours, may simply turn up with a plan of trying to help and protect us. Could our fear be indicating we have become a little too naive or overly blasé while trying something totally new for the first time? Are we rushing into something without appropriate research or background check? Or, on the flip side, do we secretly enjoy taking risks, and love to dance hand in hand with the notion of eminent danger? Flirting with fear is highly addictive to some.

Practising the art of problem solving enables us to remain open, suspend our judgement and examine the truth while we focus attention on what is really going on. Problem solving offers space to clarify fear’s real intention. Perhaps a warning about something invisible to the eye, or providing increased awareness into a highly sensitive issue.

Below are some tips to help manage fear and doubt.

  • Talk to others, professionals and friends — check in on their perspective.
  • Stay clear of things that have the potential to wind you up emotionally.
  • Keep your own perspective and look at the evidence. Ask: is this fear real or imagined?
  • Invite fear in. Don’t bury or discount it — bravely enquire what it has come to teach you.

Fear can become a wonderful partner or a reckless, irresponsible boss. Don’t allow fear to dominate, tune in and respect its important role. Learning to respect and manage your fear will be well worth the effort. Spend time with a professional therapist to discover the many ways fear can be a wise counsel and a great companion. This approach ensures you’re well on the way to discovering your peaceful heart.