“Life is difficult and frustrating for all human beings at least some of the time, and often much of the time.” Bryne, J. (2018)

The capacity to endure endless change is often more than most people can handle.  Shifting attention away from events and situations which arouse fear, can offer temporary relief and help us to avoid painful emotions. Nevertheless, when change demands our attention, we may find ourselves pulled into a position of acquiescence and as such, we surrender to its call. Change happens, no matter how hard we try to avoid facing its imminent presence. Change arrives and finding ways to live with it, we must.

Change can influence our sense of self, which is often shaped by the opinions and expectations of others. Men for example, are conditioned to be strong and protect the people in their care. Rarely are they trained to share their feelings or encouraged to seek support when circumstances require them to manage change. Women often compare themselves to other women and feel self-conscious if their image does not reflect the latest fitness fad. Conceivably, each one of us may feel dissatisfied with their ability to manage and juggle a number of corporate tasks and personal role changes in the one day.

So what happens when we don’t learn to deal with the demands of change? The classic escape routes for many of us vary. Choices may involve a secretive addiction to usage of a substance, frequent gambling activities, relentless work practices, social media, serial dating or many other unhelpful distractions. Either we choose to face the music, reinvent ourselves and find a sense of excitement in a fresh start and new experiences, or we allow our anxiety to take hold and provide us with thoughts of disaster and catastrophe beyond our control. However, by creating and shaping a new sense of personal agency, our fear of change becomes less intimidating.

Learning to embrace and make use of our imagination and inner resources, increases our ability to turn destructive patterns around. Imagination can instantly stimulate artistic, optimistic thinking, or on the flip side, unveil a discouraging consequence for a potential aspiration. Imagination is an extremely powerful tool. It is wise to be astute when employing its services. “Imagination is the beginning of creation”. “What we imagine, we make possible” George Bernard Shaw (1921)

Change can raise a sense of vulnerability, which often translates to feelings of ambivalence about decision making. For those of us who self-identify with this, it can be useful to speak with a professional therapist. A respectful, collaborative relationship will encourage concerns to be aired with an outlook of trust and safety. Therapy gives us permission to explore anxiety and question our fears. We learn to revisit our strengths, roll out emotional courage and embrace internal resilience. A truly valuable practice when managing the challenges change may convey.

Would you like to find your peaceful heart when facing change? Come and talk to me.

Yours in therapy, Jill.

References.

Bryne. J., (2018) Lifestyle Counselling and Coaching for the Whole person. Hebden Bridge: West Yorkshire.

Shaw, G. B. (1921) as in Wolynn. M., (2016) It Didn’t Start With You. Penguin Books: New York.

Wolynn. M., (2016) It Didn’t Start With You. Penguin Books: New York.